HANI's tarot journal

Sunday, August 18, 2002 King of Swords Intellectual, Analytical, Articulate, Just, Ethical The only intellectual exercise I did today was to figure out where to buy bus tickets to go to Singapore. Well, we did do some nice debates. I did point out certain things to Tariq in an articulate manner too.... Yes. I am somewhat ethical.... Just somewhat though.

Saturday, August 17, 2002 Page of Pentacles Have an Effect, Be Practical, Be Prosperous, Be Trusting/Trustworthy I had an effect in that we bought stuff on Tariq's shopping list. We did not purchase my dream, sexy string bikini, however. (Man, I seriously liked the string bikini. Sigh.) Furthermore, all my serious dreams, like doing well at school, are no where in effect.... I had common sense for shopping, and for Tariq, but none for my own life.... Add false prosperity to the mix. I trust Tariq, and he trusts me. It is a little scary, realizing what a responsibility I have, in his trust in me. And... awe-inspiring? I don't know. It's like... Me? You trust me!? Erm, what did I ever do to inspire the kind of trust he has in me? I pray I'm worthy of it! Because I never ever want to disappoint Tariq.

Reversed

Friday, August 16, 2002 Two of Pentacles Juggling, Flexibility, Fun Hahahahaha. I am definitely not juggling my shit well.... Nope. No flexibility either. Just very upset over Tariq leaving. Lots of fun shopping today. But some crying too. Sigh. Daily tears.

Reversed

Wednesday, August 14, 2002 Four of Swords Rest, Contemplation, Quiet Preparation I stayed the whole day in bed. Well, with Tariq, so it wasn't much rest, but I did stay in bed. And no, we didn't have sex. Much. I didn't do much contemplation. I did some sort of preparation.... I guess. I don't know. I'm confused.

Tuesday, August 13, 2002 Two of Cups Connection, Truce, Attraction Today, I connected with Tariq and with Adik. With Tariq, I had a little tiff and no satisfying cuddle, and with Adik, it was kinda... short and full of serious, depressing stuff. Tariq and I had a truce in our tiff by agreeing to not talk about it. Sigh. I am very attracted to Tariq. Otherwise, there was no other real attraction. Unless it's to a friend of Tariq's. Not as in male-female attraction, but friend-friend attraction. I seriously approve of him as a good friend for Tariq. And he's comfortable with me, which is really nice. Tariq's other friends are not comfortable with me, which is sad. Disappointing. Doesn't speak well of them. Heheh. It could be looked at the other way round, and it doesn't speak well of me.

Reversed

Monday, August 12, 2002 Ten of Cups Joy, Peace, Family I feel like this card should have been reversed. There was joy. I spent loads of the day with Tariq. Great joy. I had peace, in a I'm-too-sleepy-to-stress way. Okay, not true. Strange how staying awake all night is like a catalyst, helping me find peace. I spent most of my day with Tariq. He's definitely family in my heart. But he's not technically family. No, the family spent the day signing my name to an apartment, too near my future in-laws. Furthermore, they signed my Adik to number eight, while I got number ten! Which is so unfair, since Adik doesn't care about the number of her house at all.

Saturday, August 10, 2002 Page of Swords Use Your Mind, Be Truthful, Be Just, Have Fortitude I used my mind to sort out clubbing plans. I spoke directly to Tariq about my feelings on how his family specifically asked me not to show up when his paternal family is around. I don't know if complying was just, but what the hell. I had fortitude to bear it, anyway.

Reversed